his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize