What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
