I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
