Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
