What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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