Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
