I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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