i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
