ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
