That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
