I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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