I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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