Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
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Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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