I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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