I puked a lego.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
