I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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