when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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