were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
