the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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