New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize