I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i already hear my dad disowning me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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