I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
