I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
