I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
