So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
