Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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