so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
