I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
