i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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