Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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