I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
