Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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