Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
