There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
