One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
