sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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