So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
