Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
