I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize