I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
