Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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