Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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