If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize