I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
