Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
