Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize