Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
