This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
