I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
