See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
