Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You need a sexual gate keeper
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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