tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
