I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
