Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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