rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
