I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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