Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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