I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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