dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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