The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
