He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
