great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
