Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
