i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
