when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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