I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
