K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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