he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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