OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
