bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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