He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize