Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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