Already got asked if we're dating
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
