My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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