guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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