guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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