People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
