Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
