JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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