had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
