ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
